We lost, so what? The importance of defeat in learning
02/07/2025
Daniel Piulats Vilà
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Professor at the Faculty of Education
Daniel Piulats Vilà
Professor at the Faculty of Education
Winning and losing are natural parts of competition. However, not everyone is able to accept defeat easily. Can you learn to lose? Can it be taught? Because of its importance for cognitive, emotional and social development, we share here some strategies to train children and adolescents to accept defeat with sportsmanship.
Teaching to make peace with defeat
Before participating in a competition, be it a test, a game or a sporting event, we can explain to the child or adolescent that in most competitions there will always be winners and losers. When they feel sad about losing, stress that this is a completely understandable feeling. Let them express their sadness, but encourage them not to dwell on their failure, which is usually temporary.
If managed properly, defeat can be an opportunity for self-assessment, to learn from mistakes and to improve in the future.
Follow the established rules
When children and adolescents compete, it is important to teach them to respect existing rules, even if they do not like or understand them. Following the rules can help them to be and act with integrity and avoid the temptation to cheat. By instilling an attitude of respect for the rules, children and adolescents are steered away from the behaviour of justifying any means to win at any cost.
Making the rules clear, and even watching previous matches or competitions, is essential so that there are no misunderstandings. Our example, as adults, is vital.
This article was originally published in The Conversation.
Before participating in a competition, be it a test, a game or a sporting event, we can explain to the child or adolescent that in most competitions there will always be winners and losers. When they feel sad about losing, stress that this is a completely understandable feeling. Let them express their sadness, but encourage them not to dwell on their failure, which is usually temporary.
If managed properly, defeat can be an opportunity for self-assessment, to learn from mistakes and to improve in the future.
Follow the established rules
When children and adolescents compete, it is important to teach them to respect existing rules, even if they do not like or understand them. Following the rules can help them to be and act with integrity and avoid the temptation to cheat. By instilling an attitude of respect for the rules, children and adolescents are steered away from the behaviour of justifying any means to win at any cost.
Making the rules clear, and even watching previous matches or competitions, is essential so that there are no misunderstandings. Our example, as adults, is vital.
This article was originally published in The Conversation.